My hope just dwindles in the wind
will you be here, will you breathe me in
hold my shivering arms and sing
do not fear i will be here when you leave
Just like a firefly at night
your freedom is in your own light that shines
and as you fly beneath the skies
hope takes flight within my eyes
so tell me now do you surround
yourself with your own cares
or will you hold my shivering arms and sing
do not fear i will be here when you leave
I am going to tell you a story. Maybe you have heard this before or maybe you are hearing it for the first time. I have thought about it too much and now want to get it out of my system…. And it always made sense to me. So here’s the story.
Long time back there was a little boy about five years old, who was in love with the ocean. He would play at the beach every day. His father was a fisherman and would go out to sea to catch fish. The father always saw his son playing on the beach and he always cherished that sight. He could understand how much his son loved the sea. He decided to make a small boat for him. He worked on it for several days and finally he got it ready.
He took that little boat to his son and put it in his hands. His eyes lit up…..his smile widened…his joy knew no bounds. He couldn’t wait to flaunt it to his friends. In a few days’ time that little boat became his favorite toy. He couldn’t get enough of it and he would not part with it. It went everywhere he went.
That day it was stormy and the waves were much stronger. He took the boat to the water and strong waves started breaking on him. The boat slipped away and it went further. He tried with all his might but the waves were just too strong and the more he tried to latch on to the boat it went farther away into the sea. The boy kept crying the whole day and he wouldn’t eat anything. He stopped talking to everyone but would go out every day and stand at the beach to see if the boat would come back.
The father’s heart ached for his son and so he quickly started working on a new boat. This boat was much more beautiful and much better than the last one. He took the boat to his son and gave it to him. But the son would not play with the new boat. He would still go to the beach and wait for his old boat to come back because that is where his heart was…
That boat may never come back but I will go every day to that beach and wait for it because that is where my heart and soul is. Most people will call me stupid but I can’t stop searching for it. I still wait for it every day.
this time i have a reason to be angry
rational or not i am calling you out
and when you turned my back on me
i knew that i am on my own now
like how they all called me crazy
you just looked at it and laughed
and now i am a fuckin psycho
so do you have a problem now?
now i won’t take any apologies
and that the time is gone
to redeem me from my enemies
now i will seek and destroy
the dark side of me with secrets
now use your white light to shine
on me but i am not stopping here now
until i have taken everyone down
Devoutly gouge out my eyes
so that i may not see
cutting my veins across
so i may bleed
slowly but surely death will come
ending my pain i will become
a souless creature that kills
feeding on hate and greed
reach for my heart and pull it out
i don’t need it, this is suicide
give me my freedom back
so that i may never come back
beating my head against the walls
screaming my lungs out against all odds
foaming from my mouth like a madman
disoriented i have become
kill me if you can before i kill myself
you created me to fail again and again
like you get pleasure from seeing me suffer
and laugh at all my troubles.
now that you’re left here standing
with a gun to your head
finally realizing that no one cares
you get ready to shoot yourself
emotions are turning in your bowels
disintegrating your thoughts
not knowing fake from reality
you are ready to die
put the 12 gauge to your head
this is what you must know
curse at the ones who betray
now feel your brains explode
as you fall to the ground
knowing this is a war long lost
now they will shed tears at your grave
but inside they will mock your fate
To a God that’s silent and asleep
And a mankind at war for him
bleeding for the faith they know
no one cares for your decayed souls
Bombing and mutilating one another
for a heaven yet not seen
bleed all you bastard sons
and burn in hell with your deceit
Lying prophets that come from afar
foretelling future of a life of pomp and pride
filling coffers with your gold coins
and leaving you clueless as time passes by
now where is your pride?
they sucked your soul from inside
leaving you like a shell
good for nothing, left for dead
Look into this life
there’s only darkness inside
embrace the hate you see
and vanish into eternity
indifference is all you know
i see your heart and now i know
bastard child of a bastard father
nothing but your stale desires
i am the one who sets you free
rip your soul away with my teeth
swallow your pride and bow down to me
before i kill you and your dreams
i am the darkness that consumes you
deep in the forest you screams aloud
sacrificing you on the alter of lies
die in the melancholy that i provide
Smash my dreams on your stones
break my heart and break my bones
peel my skin, tear my rind
and then you will satisfied
strip me off this reality
fill my mind with insanity
whisper words into my ears
tell me that i am insane
You tell me i have violent plans
A device in the devil’s hands
Learn to live in your sorrows
and everything will end well
Drain me off all my tears
my insecurities and fears
and when you are done with me
send me into the dark for eternity
Can they hear me scream?
Can they feel me breath?
Take me to a place
where i don’t have to be seen
Somehow i don’t feel
that i am part of humanity
i loose my senses everyday
trying to be what i want to be
my soul screams to be set free
my body yearns for relief
this time i don’t want to live
please put me out of my misery
you should have shot me in the chest
tied my hands and legs
and bludgeoned me in the head
now your words they cut me
tormenting me for eternity
you should have sedated me to death
cut my veins and left me for dead
but your words echo in my ears
if you wish to kill me
then make it as quick as it can get
BloodandBlasphemy 